How to learn to speak so that the person you’re talking to is breathtaking. Beautiful and confident.

How to learn to speak so that the person you’re talking to is breathtaking. Beautiful and confident.


Everyone would like to learn to speak beautifully. This not only increases the attractiveness of the opposite sex, self-esteem and self-confidence, but is also a very useful skill: you will be able to develop the ability to convince people, easier to dispose of them and confident to speak at various events.

But how do we do that? Usually they say that just a few exercises and a short period of time are enough – that’s all. Well, maybe for someone it’s true. But we decided to look into it from all sides. So in this article you will find almost all the necessary information on how to learn to speak beautifully and competently: exercises, tips and techniques.

How to learn to speak beautifully and competently: we develop eloquence.
The first thing you want to talk about is how to develop your speech, make it literate. And here’s some advice:

Find someone you admire as an orator. It could be an actor from your favorite movie or a speaker speaking at a conference. Look closely at him and find what you like about him. It could be: clear diction, gesticulation, a gentle pleasant voice or something else. Then train it in yourself. How? All the information you can find further in this article.
Read more. And best of all, something you don’t know at all. What for? A person who has a deep understanding of a certain issue usually studies many other areas in parallel (at least superficially). This expands his vocabulary, allows him to make interesting comparisons and observations.
Write down your speech on a dictaphone and find in the recording something that you don’t like about your voice and speech. Maybe it’s disgusting, frequent repetitions of parasitic words (“like”, “well”, “shorter”, etc.), too fast or too slow, etc. Then correct these deficiencies.
How to get rid of fear, complexes, shyness and phobia in communication
Many people experience fear and uncertainty when communicating. Why? There are many reasons for this, and here are some of them: we don’t want to be ridiculed by other people; we are afraid to make the other person angry; we don’t want to seem stupid.

But it is possible and even necessary to work with it. How? Here are some tips:

We assess ourselves the way we think other people assess us. For example, if you pass by a person you like and you get the idea in your head that “I’m not attractive enough to get acquainted” – this is your own assessment of yourself, not of another person.
Start to consciously build your opinion about yourself. For example, as you walk down the street, begin to imagine how people admire you. It is much better than looking for flaws and thinking that others are mentally criticizing you for them. And when you get used to it, it’ll be easier for you to communicate with people.
Throw yourself into non-standard and even embarrassing situations: intentionally talk nonsense and try to convince others that you are right; start conversations with strangers; visit expensive places.
The main thing – have fun! If you do not laugh at yourself – someone else is sure to be.
Speak louder. No need, of course, to shout at the interlocutor, but talking in a quiet voice you adjust to feel insecure.
Observe the confident people: almost all of them are loud. At least their voice sounds 20-30% stronger than most.

How to build sentences and text correctly
If you want to learn to speak beautiful Russian, the order of words in sentences can be different: there is no “right” and “wrong”. After all, if you write all sentences in one pattern – such a text is unlikely to seem interesting to anyone.

In order to make a text interesting for other people, it must be interesting for you. It does not work any other way. Here the principle is the same as in making jokes: if you write a good joke – you yourself will laugh at it, but if it did not cause you to smile – you need to change something.

When you write a text or talk to another person, be fully involved in it. That way you can have an interesting live text or conversation.

How to expand your vocabulary
To expand your vocabulary, simply learning new words is not enough as most of them will not be stored in your memory. You need to read more. Read what exactly? Books that will be useful to you professionally, in your personal development, fiction of different genres and books from areas in which you have absolutely no knowledge.

“With the first three, everything is more or less clear, but why the fourth group?” – you ask. The answer is simple: you will be able to get the most new words and thoughts from those sources which you have not addressed before. And in principle it is useful to have at least a superficial understanding of various issues.

Tips for accelerating vocabulary growth:

  • Translate parts of what you’ve read: Best done aloud or on paper.
  • Learn the verses by heart.
  • Consciously use new words more often in conversations.

How to speak and speak correctly in Russian
To express your thoughts correctly and beautifully in Russian is not the easiest task. After all, it is not given to us simply – from birth – but develops in us. How does it develop in us? Through the environment and the media: what we communicated with and what we listened to had a huge impact on speech.

So what do we have to do to be eloquent?

Try to express your thoughts competently everywhere: on social networks, on forums, when talking to friends, etc. Always keep an eye on what words you choose.
Read the classic literature.
Talk to the literate people, or find records of their conversations and speeches, and listen to them.

How to model speakers, movie actors and those whose communication skills you like.
If you want to learn to speak beautifully, it is best to develop your own strengths. But you can also take a bit of skill from people who sympathize with you. How can you do that?

Observe them and take apart into small details how they talk to people:

  • Do they use body language?
  • How loud do they sound?
  • How do they present the material?
  • Do they have clear diction?
  • How loud are they speaking?
  • Do they smile as they talk? And so on.
    Start using it on yourself. Just don’t take it all at once – it’s best to work on one detail until it fits perfectly into you.

Next, watch yourself: record your voice on a dictaphone or video camera and see what you’re getting and what’s better to do. And remember that professional actors and speakers are trained for years, so don’t drop everything unless the results come quickly.

How to use mimic and body language in communication to get people to come to you.
A beautiful voice is just part of how good speakers hypnotize us with their speeches. During a conversation, we convey information to others not only through words, but also through mimics and body language. For example, you can keep your hands crossed on your chest, look down, lift your lips a little and say that you are in a good mood, but the person you are talking to will still understand that something is wrong with you.

So if you want to make a good impression on the person you are talking to, or on the audience, it is important to use gesticulation and facial expressions correctly:

  • Smile sincerely. With a real smile, you get small folds in the corners of your eyes – remember that and use this one. It’s very important because without it, your smile will look “dead”.
  • Use an open posture.
  • Look into the eyes and show interest in the eyes.
  • Be turned towards the person you’re talking to.
  • Breathe smoothly and deeply.
  • Keep your hands steady and relaxed if you do not gesticulate.
  • Relax the facial muscles.

That’s not worth doing:

  • Clenching your fists as you communicate shows your tension.
  • Touching your ears, nose, hair or forehead is also a sign of a little tension or even excitement.
  • Shaking your foot, sitting somewhere – doing this shows you are nervous.
  • Crossing your arms or legs is also a sign that you are going to defend yourself to your interlocutor or audience.
  • Tightening your cheekbones, lips or eyes is considered an attempt to hide your true emotions or deceit.

How do you master the art of speaking on camera
Most people start shaking their knees when they think about what to say on camera. And if you’re one of them, you need to know some secrets that will help you:

It’s useful to shake in front of the camera for the first few minutes, laugh at yourself, relax. This will relieve the pressure that comes from the thought that you will now do something very important.
Yes, perhaps recording video is a really important task for you. But the pressure isn’t going to help you in any way. And on the contrary, when you relax, feel confident and fervent, it will be much easier to speak on camera.
Imagine you’re not talking to a camera, but to your best friend. You can even put your best friend’s picture next to the lens so you can look him in the eye and talk to him. That way, the recording in the eyes of the viewers will look as if you can really see them, that you are close to them. And that intimacy will have a positive impact on the evaluation of the video.
Use the right body language and facial expressions we talked about a little higher.
Speak with enthusiasm. You should be interested in what you’re talking about, more viewers.
The most important thing is to trust yourself. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes – be afraid to miss the opportunity!

How to mark important points and draw conclusions
Talking to a person or an entire audience about something, it’s like we’re painting a picture in their head. And for it to be attractive, in this picture everything should be laid out on shelves: accents are placed, the main thing is highlighted and conclusions are made. And now we’re going to figure out how to achieve it.


How to mark important points.
Highlight what you feel you need to convey to others, and build a speech around it.

How do you draw conclusions
To draw conclusions is to deliver the most important information once again, taking into account that the interlocutor or audience has heard all your arguments. The important point is: don’t be afraid to repeat yourself – more information will be absorbed and stored in people’s memory.

How to stop swearing and get rid of parasitic words.
If you do not want to impress a careless person, avoid swearing when talking. Cursing means showing that you have no developed vocabulary. Remember: every mat pronunciation becomes a “stain on your white shirt” in the eyes of more or less educated interlocutors.

You should also get rid of parasitic words. In Russian there are a lot of them, but here are the words that are often met: “in general”, “really”, “so to speak”, “actually”, etc. They help to buy time to formulate a thought in the most appropriate way. But despite the fact that they often perform such an important function, the use of these words when speaking shows you not the best.

How do you learn to curse and speak beautifully? Pay more attention to what you say and ask others to tell you when a mate or a word parasite slips through your speech.

You can also agree with your loved ones that for each obscene word that you say, you will give them 100 rubles. Thus the motivation of a loved one will increase greatly and he will be eager to listen to your speech and wait for the cherished mistake, and you will very quickly begin to control your speech.

How to get rid of embarrassing pauses in a conversation.
It often happens that there is nothing more to say in the conversation, and there is an awkward silence. But the very idea that you have nothing to say is false.

There’s always something to say: you’ve probably lived 20, 30 or even 50 years. During that time, you have been in an incredible number of situations and gained an enormous amount of experience. It is impossible that there is not a single interesting thought in you – you just limit yourself.

You try to find the key to your interlocutor, sifting out topics that you think are not interesting. And that’s what you’re driving yourself into a dead end. How do you act to avoid embarrassing pauses? How do you involve a person in a conversation? The easiest way to do that is to get yourself involved.

You even have a lot of interesting thoughts in your head right now. Learn to listen to them, and then next time you’ll know a place to find interesting topics to talk about.

Remember: people get infected with enthusiasm from people, not from words! Learn to let the situation go and just say what’s in your head.

And another thing: do not be afraid of embarrassing pauses. If you feel uncomfortable, then say “oh, it seems an awkward pause occurred, by the way …” and instead of a threefold, you can prepare your options for the interviewer to accommodate him more.

What do you like to do in your spare time?
Do you have any project that you are implementing or want to implement?
Where did you last go on vacation?
Do you think Cheburashka is a boy or a girl?
What are the 3 interesting books you can advise?
Which 3 films can you advise?
Apart from your main activity, are you studying/occupying somewhere (music, languages, sports)?
How to talk to people confidently and convincingly
Everybody wants to be self-confident and sound convincing, but it seems as if some are just given it and others are not. Where’s the truth?

The truth is that being confident and sounding convincing is a skill to learn. To some it is really, you might say, given for no reason: these people are surrounded by examples of self-confident women and men whom they unconsciously model. But if you don’t have it, that’s what you need to do:

Get to know confident people, and you start to adopt this quality for yourself. If you can’t in real life, watching the video will be enough to start with: watching them talk, gesticulating, what expression they’re listening to, and so on.

All of this will have an impact on you: you will become more confident, and as a result, you will begin to sound more convincing.

The practice of public speaking
If it happens that you need to perform in front of a small or medium group of people, but you don’t know what to do – don’t panic. You don’t have to rush into a deep study of rhetoric and read books about what oratory is – you just need to know the basics.

Many people have a fear of public speaking. If you are one of these people and want to sound convincing – you need to tune yourself up and prepare yourself well. What is needed for that? Study the audience you’re going to be talking to…

You should know what information these people already have, what they need, what value you can give them. The main task in the first stage is to determine what problems people have with the topic for which you are going to prepare a speech.

Talk about what people want to hear about. Talk to your target audience and ask them as many questions as you can. You should know what people expect from the speech so that you don’t disappoint them.

1) Deep dive into the subject.

You must be a professional in what you are going to talk about. It may be a narrow question, but you must immerse yourself in it very deeply.

Also don’t forget to prepare a plan. You must be present in every presentation:

  • Introduction, introduction to the audience.
  • The main block with a brief description of the main idea for each part.
  • A summary.

2) Prepare slides.

Visual information is better absorbed by people and attracts attention. In addition, the slides will be a kind of an island where people can relax a little from listening carefully to your speech. There shouldn’t be much information on slides. Nice and short.

3) Take care of your appearance.

If your audience is “serious people in suits”, you should look accordingly.

4) Rehearse your performance in front of your friends or on camera.

The best way to fix all the problems is to speak in front of someone who can give you adequate feedback. Or, if there are no such people, videotape your performance and evaluate yourself.

Be relaxed.
During the performance, try to keep your shoulders and neck relaxed and breathe deeply.
Radiate energy.
Speak with enthusiasm. You should be interested in what you are saying, even more in the audience: this will make people listen more enthusiastically.
Remember the main thought or idea you wanted to convey.
Line up your performance around one thing. Don’t go too deep sideways, as people might think you are “pouring water.
Feedback from the audience:
Pay attention to public feedback: both during the performance and afterwards. Ask if there are any questions about what and why people disagree, what they liked about the performance, what they got new, etc.


Appearance and its impact on people around you
Appearance is one of the most important things that people pay attention to when they think about you. If you want to be successful in the eyes of others and attract the same people in your life – you must look good. And it is important not only what clothes you wear, but also your body and posture.

Watch out for yourself: sometimes, watching a program on TV, you may notice a man with a high chin and a strict suit with a tie. And based only on his appearance, you immediately subconsciously assess him and his performance: “This man is probably very smart and talks about something important.

This may not be so clearly reflected in your consciousness, but you will immediately give him a similar assessment.

Your appearance also changes your self-esteem: when you look good, you start to feel the same way. This can be most clearly seen when you buy something new. Remember the last time you purchased things, how you felt? You must have had a lot of energy and self-confidence.